Stop Relegating God to a Positive Thinking Tool!

Yesterday was a relatively good day. 

I stuck to my commitments and finished my tax, did my University submission and did 1 hour of exercise - albeit not exactly exerting myself.

While exercising I watched the West Wing (ep. 1 of Series 2) and I am still very emotional. I look at these fine people and I think of the bunch of dead beats I have surrounded myself with throughout my career. I wonder why I set my standards so low in this respect. They have been uneducated, lazy, dishonourable liars in the main.

I need to watch my thinking more. Just look at that last sentence!

I am really going to try to:

• Trust and have faith in the reality of God - as a supreme, infinite entity (and not as a made-up tool to help positive thinking), AND
• Watch my thinking very, very rigorously.

Again, positive thinking is not some mystical power. Only God is. My positive thinking is simply like mental fitness. Unless I am fit and healthy in my mind, I cannot function properly.

But I guess my approach has been this: God will pull me out of my spiral - when in fact, I never really believed this.

God

I can see that every time I finished my meditation - I always asked myself "do I feel stronger, better, clearer - do I feel like God is there?". And every time I would have to answer "no". I was so desperate to grab hold of God that I became disconsolate (depressed, despairing) every time I answered "no".

I thought it was reasonable to assess your faith by how you feel. God promises peace. I don't have it - does this mean God either a) doesn't exist or b) I am lacking in some way. 

I keep coming back to "according to your faith will you receive". I have been looking to a positive concept - not God - for my peace. And maybe when this penny finally drops that it is GOD the reality that will help me - and not anything else - that I may know peace.

But as Grantley Morris says - our feelings in relation to something are not good indicators. But how about our life? If our life is a shambles - can we say God is in control? If he isn't in control - then its a pretty ordinary concept of God i.e. God is waiting around for your belief to reach a certain tipping point before he lends a hand.

God wants us to know him - to have a relationship with him. If we think he is just a good concept - then we will get as much help from him as that allows. Probably the same help we would get praying to Harry Potter for a magic trick....Not much.

So today - I make my commitments:

Bad stuff: I was very quiet at dinner with the family. I woke at 3.30am this morning and was in a bad state. Sweating. Dwelling on bad outcomes. I feel sorry for my wife!

God

• To keep away from the insulting notion that God is just a positive concept
• To focus on God as a real entity - all powerful. Infinite
• To start to fly by my instruments (God's word and God's reality) and not my feelings.

Positive

I had a great concept for some reason of me and the family at the Hotel Bel Air for christmas. We all had our own rooms. We were at dinner and I was happy and not faking it. It was a terrific image.

I will really try to think positively and keep the cob webs of negative thinking away.

I will affirm that "I am on my way".

I will be unemotional about my business. Emotions in business are a disaster.

Work

• I will get my tax affairs to the accountant
• I will complete my University submission
• I will respond to the builder
• I will get R to pay the accountant
• I will make a good start cleaning up my office.
• Exercise: I will exercise for 1hr 

OK 

Today is my first day of running this blog.
I feel somewhat hopeful that it may help - but then I have tried a million methods to break me from this despair.

I feel like a parachutist plunging towards the earth and trying everything (spiritual) to save me.

Last week I broke down in front of my older brother and his partner.
I hadn't seen him for 5 or 6 years.

What got me was this: I developed a property around a tenant's requirements. The tenant vacated after 6-months - without paying rent. The zoning of the property severely restricted our leasing options. I secured a new tenant - but they had trouble with the zoning. Happily though the government was changing the rules and it all looked good. Waiting. Waiting and then the new rules came in. But what's this? A small condition that required something else. Finally, after 3 years - the tenant had had enough and pulled the pin. The other tenants I was lining up were conditional on this tenant - so everything imploded.

The bank has been patient - but getting increasingly impatient.

My 50% partner in the project has failed in every way possible - to a point where I cannot stand the sight of him. I hate everything about him.

I have a meeting with the Bank's accountant (handling this problem file) on Friday - which I am dreading. What do I say? I am staring at bankruptcy.

Today

Last night I concluded that my concept of God is little more than positive thinking.
Do I believe in God's words as being true IN THE WORLD. Or do I want to believe them because they are just happy, positive thoughts.

According to our faith in God do we receive. 

If I believe God is simply a mental tool to help me overcome and be victorious in life - then I am consigning God to being nothing more than an Anthony Robbins. And on this basis - God will deal with me, My concept of God is just dismal. 

If I say "Christ is my strength" then I need to understand that CHRIST IS MY STRENGTH in the world and this is NOT about positive thinking. So its the reality of God in my life - that I am depending on - not my thoughts. I have been down this track countless times but usually end my mediation with: how do I feel? In other words - I am looking at these words to make me feel better - when I should be asking "with Christ as my strength - is there anything I cannot do?"

BUT

I think thoughts may be critical, too. I have become severely negative and downcast. Could it be that these thoughts have played their role in my demise? Yes! But I do not believe that there is a mystical element here. Thinking positively and inspiring thoughts is like eating healthy food. It protects you and helps you BUT it is not a guarantee. Saying that thoughts guarantee an outcome is just wrong. Did all the people in the WTC fail to think positively? Its rubbish - akin to the occult.

But that is not to say that positive thinking is not hugely beneficial.

God guarantees results. 
Positive thinking is like eating right and being fit. It improves your quality of life dramatically.

Commitment

I will really make an effort to think positively about everything - on the basis that what I focus on I will attract. Not for any mystical reason - but because when you feel happier you feel like doing more, you have more imaginative thoughts - which all tend to give far better results. 

When I mediate on god today - and his words - I will take them as REALITY IN my WORLD and not in any way as a tool for positive thinking.

Today

I commit to:

Finishing my tax
Substantially completing my university paper for developments
Exercising for 1hr